Comments on: Breastfeeding-At Least Please Try…

By: Shannon

Shannon — Thu, 14 May 2009 12:23:11 +0000

I sometimes have “phantom” letdown Jolene! LOL…and I agree it wasn’t all that lovely of a feeling. I missed nighttime nursing too. And I never knew this story about you. I’m very proud/impressed with how set on nursing you were-another similarity for us.
Jenn it’s funny how you felt guilty for being relieved to be done…that’s how I felt too…oh the guilt of being a mommy is endless. And worth every second.

By: Jolene

Jolene — Tue, 12 May 2009 19:46:31 +0000

Wow, you brought back memories. I planned on breastfeeding from the get go. My OB and Ped were all about breastfeeding, didn’t want to hear about alternatives. Let me just say – breastfeeding with my first baby was pure hell. She was tongue locked and would not latch on correctly. I had to use a crazy apparatus while at the hospital and then the Ped decided she needed to be supplemented with formula while at the hospital. That was a huge let down and the guilt. I tried and tried and pumped. I even had to resort to pumping and using a syringe-like dropper because I didn’t even have bottles, that’s how determined I was to breastfeed.

After a week of basically starving my baby (she even had pink crystals in her diaper from being so dehydrated), she lost all sorts of weight and wasn’t gaining, daily visits to the PED, no sleep, guilt, someone at the Ped’s office told me to go ahead and supplement with formula while pumping and continuing to try throughout the day. That was one of the happiest days of my life. It took a whole week for someone to give me “permission” to try something else. I continued to pump for two months. With the pain and cracked nipples and infections, I said screw it finally and Ashley was a formula fed baby from then on.

Morgan was another story. She latched right on from the beginning. One hell of a nurser. I never had to use a bottle until 5 months in. I finally gave it up for a variety of reasons one of which was terrible sibling rivalry. Ashley turned into the devil around 18 months and she was not happy to have a little sister encroaching upon her time with me. Every time I would sit to nurse Morgan, she would hit the baby and hit me and cause so much trouble. Morgan would get tense and stop nursing and look around and take my nipple with her. It got to be a major battle every day.

Nighttime nursing was the best and most special. Ironically, I did miss it when I gave it up. I do have to say, I hated letting down though. Hated that feeling.

By: jenn

jenn — Sat, 09 May 2009 04:59:15 +0000

I had no doubt that I would breast feed, and I’m stubborn, so even though I was back at work six weeks after having my daughter, I faithfully spent my lunch breaks in the bathroom pumping for seven months. Of course I nursed her in the mornings and evenings. I was really disappointed when I started having to send formula to daycare. I just couldn’t pump enough milk, no matter how hard I tried. I still did what I could, but after seven months I decided it was good enough. It was a relief to be done, but I felt a little guilty for being relieved. I’m glad I nursed as long as I did, and I would do it again if I ever had another child, but it is a big commitment.

I agree with you though, I don’t know why women won’t just try. But I guess everyone has a right to their own opinion. And QT, I know a few women who tried and couldn’t make it happen. I was lucky with Shiloh, I had no problems from her.

By: Cathouse Teri

Cathouse Teri — Fri, 08 May 2009 20:53:48 +0000

All very thought-provoking. I think everyone is different and they are comfortable with different things. It is possible that you may be closer to a child you have breast fed. As for me, I’m close to every child in the world, so I doubt if it made a difference in my experience. But then again, I have nothing to compare it to. I can only tell you that I was very close to my babies. I held them when I fed them. I spent every moment I could adoring and nurturing them. They were very healthy and strong. I saw absolutely no setbacks in choosing not to breast feed. But I can see how it may be an important bonding experience for some mothers and should most certainly be at least considered.

By: Shannon

Shannon — Fri, 08 May 2009 17:46:08 +0000

Thanks ladies.
Teri, that’s exactly the kind of thing I was wondering about, so you are just the person I wanted to answer the question for me! The fact that you never regretted it is very powerful in itself. I’m not sure the person that I know who is going through this, will feel the same. Her first daughter seems to be much, much more close to her father. She doesn’t spend much time at all with the first baby, but that might have happened even if they had “bonded” over breastfeeding-maybe just the way this person fundamentally IS.
Tricia, it’s true that it might be a cultural thing, that’s a really interesting piece of insight.
QT, I applaud you for trying even though it was so difficult for you! I guess that’s the main thing I felt like most women would choose to do-try it, if only for a couple weeks and see if it works. The first several weeks are the most critical in breastfeeding, it seems a small sacrifice to just attempt it-but I do think some women just think it’s “gross”. I’ve heard that from lots of women. I guess the selfish reasons should count as reasons too, but I just can’t wrap my head around it. The informed judgement and decision Teri made, makes sense to me. Just thinking it’s gross…and not considering it…that is the part I don’t get.

By: QTMama

QTMama — Fri, 08 May 2009 17:35:16 +0000

I tried and tried, my daughter rejected me completely. I remember pumping my breasts till my nipples were the size of pencils, and still, she rejected me. But, I did try. When I cried to the doctor about it, she said that Emilee could still go to Harvard even if she drank pumped milk mixed with formula. Heh.

I’ve known some that have chosen to never even try. One was young, in her 20’s and didn’t want to be bothered by it. I remember being confused by that.

I’m not sure I get it either, the whole not trying thing. I know of one woman who decided she didn’t want her breasts to change, so she decided no breastfeeding.

Yeah, I don’t get it either.

By: Tricia

Tricia — Fri, 08 May 2009 16:53:11 +0000

I totally understand your question. I would NEVER judge anyone else, ever, but you have to wonder about nature and curiousity here. I think much of it is cultural – when I visited my parents in South Africa with my then nine week old daughter, it was perfectly acceptable to breastfeed discreetly or openly at restaurants, public places and in fact anywhere. Europe is the same. I think when it’s a natural part of culture, it makes it easier for mothers to consider it.

My opinion is coming from mother who REALLY struggled with my first born and nursing. I had infections. She never really latched on well. (At least when I compared her to my second). I didn’t know what the hell I was doing and had some very nasty lactation nurse yell at me on the phone one night when I was in floods of tears. But,. I kept trying and it did get better. Unfortunately, I developed post-partum depression at about six months p partum and had to take medicine and at that time (11 years ago) there was apparently nothing safe to take while you nursed. Giving it up was heartbreaking. I think my hormones were in more of a mess from stopping than doing it.

My son was a different story. I had a doula at his birth and had no medication. I bonded with him much quicker. (it still pains me to admit that). He and I took to breastfeeding with ease. I loved it and was much more relaxed with him. It takes a lot of persistence and effort, but it pays off. The post-partum hit at about nine months with him (much later but much more severe) and I had to stop then too. I know it’s a sensitive topic, but it’s SO WORTH it to give them a good start. I think if you can even do it for a few weeks, that is better than not trying at all. Again, I am not judging and don’t want to appear to be.

Thanks for the subject. It is one close to my heart. They are some of the most beautiful moments I remember about my children being babies. (When I wasn’t crying and hurting that is – only in the very beginning). I wish Americans would become more open about something so natural and make it easier for moms to relax and be open to it to. I think it makes a huge difference.

By: Cathouse Teri

Cathouse Teri — Thu, 07 May 2009 19:19:15 +0000

When I was pregnant with my first child (28 years ago), of course I wondered if I should breast feed. EVERYONE said it would be better for the child and a very important bonding experience for both mom and child. I spoke with my sister about it, because she is ever-so-wise and had breast fed her children and also ~ she is very into natural things. In short, she could compare what she knew of breast feeding and what she knew of me. She said, “There is nothing like the experience of breast feeding. But if you are not 100% sure you want to do it, you won’t make it past the hard part in the beginning. It really takes a commitment to stick with it, because it’s so painful at first.” I said, “Cool. Because I’m only like… 15% sure I want to do it.” So I didn’t. And I never regretted it. I have been very close to all three of my babies. In fact, I can’t imagine being closer. My babies are now grown, and I am just as close to my grandchildren. Just as a sidenote, my children were all very healthy; very rarely got sick. Oh, and I’m closing in on fifty and still have great tits.

By: Stepalicious

Stepalicious — Thu, 07 May 2009 18:59:17 +0000

I don’t see how your post would be offensive…you are trying to be3tter understand why a new Mother wouldn’t try it. I too always wondered why…for me, it was natural to breastfeed…and I loved the experience. For some though, they are just flat out uncomfortable with it…or have some fear that makes them anxious to even consider it. I had a friend who refused to try…she thought it was “gross” her word.

Beautiful image by the way! Made me remember how wonderful and beautiful the experience was for me.

Happy Mother’s Day!