Chapter 2-Part 1

So, armed with a beautiful diamond on my left hand, I kept up the groupie lifestyle, all the while planning THE WEDDING.  Which I wasn’t so about, but I am my parent’s only daughter and the in-laws only had two sons, so it was pretty much mandatory.  I often sat back and let the mothers go.  During the engagement, we spent all our spare time together and had a BLAST.  Mind you, there was a minor blip on the radar.  Here and there.  But in the scheme of how doting and worshipping this guy was, I dismissed it.  I’m pretty forgiving and I really don’t like conflict, so I’m not about arguing.  During all of this, I’m in college and working pretty much full-time at retail outlets in a nearby town.  A good girlfriend of mine dropped a bomb on me at one point that she’d been out dancing and overheard someone saying how they were “hanging out with “BsDaddy” (insert his full first and last name here) and that it was going great and they were having a blast.  She wouldn’t tell me right away and I had to pry it out of her babysitter, since she was at work and was waiting to tell me until we could spend some time on it.  I wanted to know NOW.  As was the norm for the future, I immediately went to the BsDaddy and asked him.  And he denied vehemently.  WHY would I do that?  I adore you, I just asked you to marry me…you are everything…yada yada yada.  And I believed him without a doubt.  A little while later (but just enough time lapsed so I didn’t connect the two events) when I arrived at his parents room and went downstairs to his bedroom where he was practicing guitar, he jumped up and started verbally sparring with me.  Who had I slept with?  How dare I lie to him?  He knew I was.  Ok, I admit, I hadn’t been with anyone else, but I started to question myself, he was SO SURE I had been cheating.  Did I blank out and fall into someone elses bed?  I thought maybe I was going nuts.  Well he kept going on and on and finally said he’d been to the doctor because he had gotten “crabs”.  Ok…I am completely not sure how we ever justified that one as him not cheating, but I vaguely remember that back then he told me that his brothers friends had slept in his bed when we were away or something and maybe that happened or some similar thing that sounded good-because that’s what I wanted to believe.  But he made me believe.  Sound manipulative?  Blaming me when it was really him?  Yeah, now I see that it was.  But I was 19, and this boy was so clearly in love with me.  Our friends always raved about how lucky I was, how they wished they had that type of relationship.  So that got swept under the rug too.  Alright, next clue.  One night he comes home from work, to my parents house to hang out like we normally did.  And he walks in the door and tells me that tomorrow morning he’s moving from the towns where we’ve grown up in NY, to SC.  Tomorrow morning.  He has a job and has to start in a few days.  WHAT?  Apparently, his parents knew and they didn’t feel I needed to know.  Engaged or not.  Fiancee did say, well, do you want to come too?  It will be great.  But I was in college.  I stood firm.  Later that night he left (short version here) and the next morning on my way to college I stopped to see him, and when I walked into his room and saw all the boxes stacked, it hit me.  And I sat down on the floor and sobbed.  He comforted me, reassured me…and promised me (on The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, my all time favorite book), that we would be getting married and everything would be fine.  Boxes still upset me to this day.  It sounds funny, but really, it’s not.  He left me his blanket which smelled like him and his favorite shirt and wrote me huge letters and songs and called me every day several times a day.  I started planning to transfer schools and my Mom wrote me a letter about choices and how she was completely against this.  It was a stressful time. I’d call down there and it would be late at night and he wasn’t there.  His best friend (who he had moved down there to live with I think) said he had run out to the store.  Yeah.  Ok.   Eventually I decided to bail out and told him no way.  I’m not going.  He came home almost immediately.  Back to his old job.  He was only gone about 3 months I believe…this was a long time ago. This reassured me that he was completely devoted to me.  It’s crazy.  The wedding approached quickly, we planned and enjoyed that summer and the wedding went off without a hitch.  We left for Hawaii around 3 in the morning for our 2 week honeymoon, and had so much fun.  After we came home, we lived together for the first time, and loved every second.  Every morning we woke up and said how grateful we were.  It really was bliss. After a year in our first house, we moved to a more central location between my job and his job, and out of his hometown, to our great log house (the red house B calls it), with 20 acres of land, a babbling brook, and an inground pool.  It was heaven.  A year after that he told me he wanted a baby.  After a little persuasion, I agreed the timing was right, but I was only having ONE!!!  I had a blossoming career, was very content and liked the way it was.  But we were so in love, I wanted a baby that was an extension of that as well.  And he really, really wanted a baby.  So, there we went. Within 3 months, we were pregnant.  I have the charts to prove when we were trying!  I actually think I know the time she was conceived.  🙂  I ate incredibly healthy, gave up caffeine, kept my exercise up and it was so fun.  This was the most amazing time of my life.  I found out around October that I was pregnant.  She was due in July.  Things all went seriously wrong sometime around January/February.  And that will be the next chapter…

 

P.S. My back feels a bit better!  The doctor gave me an anti-inflammatory, I tried a new pillow and did not sleep on my stomach.  Maybe this is a pulled muscle.  But it also helped to alleviate the regular back stiffness and soreness I have every single morning, so I was pretty excited!  And we were kid-free last night  B went to her Nana and Poppa’ and stepson is at his moms for spring break week.  

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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kelly
    Apr 17, 2008 @ 23:19:14

    What a cliffhanger you left us with…..Give us the next chapter, please!!!!!

    Reply

  2. singleworkingmommy
    Apr 18, 2008 @ 10:29:42

    What Kelly said. Seriously. I’m obsessively checking your blog waiting for the next part/chapter.

    Reply

  3. Kelly
    Apr 20, 2008 @ 19:28:53

    Okay, I just want to clarify that I AM NOT stalking your blog. Well….OK…maybe just a wee, little bit because every time I turn on my computer my fingers rush to Favorites, scroll down, click on said blog and I quicky PRAY while it is opening that the next chapter is posted! The suspense is killing me.

    Reply

  4. singleworkingmommy
    Apr 20, 2008 @ 21:48:51

    Well, I’m totally stalking her blog…

    Reply

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