Sorry ladies, I was raking and doing yard work while the husband worked on building this . So anyway, to continue (just a short one, I was planning on updating tomorrow, but got some emails on my Blackberry that people were wanting more 😉 ).
So, all is happy and well. Throughout the winter, the excitement is so fabulous! I want a boy and can’t wait until February to find out what we are having. We choose a name, Grady Vaughn for the son we think we are having. Before our sonogram, we both write on a slip of paper what we think we are having and put it in our pockets, to open after we find out the gender. The doctor double checks to make sure that we want to know and we both look at each other…hesitant. She tells us. It’s a girl!!! Isn’t that great? I think we both sank. No, actually rephrase that, I think I sank. How funny that seems to me now, since I can’t possibly imagine a son, as B has redefined my femininity in countless ways. And of course, both of our slips of paper, which we unfolded slowly and carefully said “boy”. Well we adjusted our line of thinking and started “thinking pink”. And kept getting excited. Well, in March, I noticed a serious change in BsDaddy. He was quiet and reserved, where he was once hyper and completely devoted to me. It was bizarre. I remember calling my parents when they were on vacation in Maine and they both said it was my hormones…I was exaggerating, and BsDaddy said that too. I began to think I was nuts. After about a month or so of his behavior which was very, very odd (remember, I’d been with him since I was 19, and I was now 25-I knew how he was, so I knew that this was off). Finally one night, I would not let him go to bed and made him stay up until he came clean. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I just can’t be here anymore”. I was aghast “WHAT? You get me pregnant and now you want to split up?”. “No” he said “I don’t want a divorce. I just can’t be in this house right now”. Ok, I admit. I had no idea what the heck was going on. I don’t remember what I said. I called my Mom and told her I was a failure and that I was as bad as all those other women with no husband. I got in my car and crying hysterically drove the 25 minutes to my parents. My mom slept with me on the spare bed and rubbed my belly until I finally cried myself to sleep. Yup. She spooned me. It was rather sweet, now, looking back. Enough for now…he left. When I got back home, he was staying at his parents and I have to admit, it all gets rather hazy now. Isn’t it amazing how the human mind protects us?
Just hang on…I’ll get some more in tomorrow. 😉