Job changes?

So  in keeping with some of my fellow bloggers like Liz, who are contemplating other jobs and career moves, I have another job I’m mulling over too.  Some of you know that I am a research scientist and have been for over 11 years now.  At the same place!  It’s like my second family.  However, I did work at a pharmaceutical company right after college, and really didn’t like it.  I stayed there six months and then was offered a positon with my current employer.  We’ve been through buying several houses together, a divorce, numerous serious relationships.  My daughters entire existence I’ve been with this people.  And it’s a stellar job.  Downside?  It’s one hour from my home.  Two hours of commuting daily.  And my daughter is an hour away from me during the day.  Her dad is in town though for his job, which is why it works ok for us.  

I have a job coming up teaching in a Catholic school-chemistry and physics.  I went to grad school for a Masters in Education.  The only part of that degree I haven’t finished is the student teaching.  And I won’t, because I’d have to quit my job while I did it.  And that’s just not reasonable to me.  However if I take this job, I’ll have a big cut in pay, but it will count as my student teaching and we can push my certification through (NY State is a toughie when it comes to teaching requirements, for those of you who aren’t aware).  So, great job, summers and school vacations off, shorter workday, no commute.  Drastically lower pay.  

Everyone says take it.  Our business is doing well and the money isn’t really the issue.  However, I have my single mom mentality permanently ingrained.  What if this marriage doesn’t work out?  What if it’s just me and B again?  I can’t support her as I have in the past, with this type of pay cut.  

Oh and the kicker-my precious Gram Julia, while in the hospital shortly before dying, said to me (when I contemplated skipping one of my grad school classes to hang with her) “you go be a teacher”.  And in a Catholic school…oh Gram would LOVE that.

So why am I so afraid to do this???  I’m afraid to depend on my husband.  He says I do way more than my share here and take the job that will make me happiest.  But what job IS that?

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Liz
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 14:48:02

    I say do it!

    You know you have the skills to return to research work if the financial need ever arises.

    I think anything that will still allow you to be comfortable finacially while also improving your family time and quality of life (commuting sucks!) is something you should go for!

    Good luck!!!

    Reply

  2. singleworkingmommy
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 21:56:39

    I’m with Liz. You can always go back to a job in research if you need to.

    And I know, I know, I have the same control/trust issues. I would really love to start my own business (a bakery for kids with food allergies), but I am really just too afraid. Doesn’t help that SD just lost his job…

    Reply

  3. littlemansmom
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 10:26:36

    I say DO IT! Take a chance, do something that will make you happy.

    I’m going to have to be lame and go with my motto “tomorrow is always another day…with no mistakes in it” Live for today because tomorrow is fresh and new.

    Reply

  4. Kelly
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 14:20:35

    Hmmmm…. I probably have a lot to say about this question because I have lived it. I’ll try to give my two cents briefly….. if I can.

    When I remarried and we had our son together I gave up my job of 18 years making bookoo bucks with mega benefits. My job required a lot of travel, which in turn required a lot of juggling and long child care hours for the kids and I was not willing to continue that with another child in the equation. We were financially sound and I began working part-time at home for my husband’s business. A couple years later my husband sold his business and embarked upon more education for a new degree and getting through has been financially challenging. I started substitute teaching at my children’s parachiol school which then led to a position as a preschool aide combined with preschool age childcare position. This worked out really well because my 4 year old has severe food allergies and I felt much more secure being near him and being able to constantly educate those at the school about the dangers of his allergies. (That has been a REAL eye-opener, trust me.) But I make a teeny fraction of what I used to make.

    I love that I am in the same building as my children, I love that I have the same school days off, and I love being home in the summer. I love that they can sleep in in the summer and play outside while I make a big breakfast for them. I love that on snow days I can catch it on the news and sneak into their rooms and shut off alarms while they slumber away. I love being close to home and having no business travel.

    I’ll be honest about what I miss. I miss my coworkers who had been through thick and thin with me. My first marriage, the birth of my children, the painful divorce, the passing of my parents and the eventual meeting of my husband. I miss corporate lunches and every kind of in-house training the company could provide.
    I miss the salary. I miss socking away lots of money into my retirement fund. And yep, I even miss the work. It was what I loved and I was really good at it. I miss how all of that made me feel.

    My children (my older two who realize the difference) don’t miss any of it. (Well, more money would probably mean more frequent and elaborate vacations) but they absolutley love that I am available to them. They are less stressed about scheduling and ride shares and pick-ups and where-they-will-be-when types of things. They love that I can give rides to their friends while their parents are still at work. They love that I am involved and that I can volunteer and be at every function or event.

    I think my previous career was better for ME, but I know what I do now is better for my family. If for some reason my marriage would dissolve or something would happen to my husband I would have to focus on being able to support myself and kids again. And as I get older and away from my previous field the idea of that gets scarier. But I know I could do it. I did it before.

    I would think about all the positives it would mean for B, and if you can afford it I would go for it. AND being that you have a floating cottage……just think how much more R &R you could get on it.

    There’s my two cents. And it wasn’t very brief. Sorry.

    Reply

  5. Kelly
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 14:29:14

    Also, if you don’t mind…. I see in the response from “singleworkingmommy” that she must have a child with food allergies. I would love to converse with her sometime if she would like to. Shannon has my e-mail address and and I give her permission to share it with “Singleworkingmommy” if she would ever want to talk. It’s just always nice to connect with someone going through similar challenges. Thanks, Shannon!

    Reply

  6. jenn3
    Jul 21, 2008 @ 11:17:47

    I would jump at the chance to work the same hours that my daughter would be in school! I’m not one to give you advice, though, because I already have a low paying job and can’t even afford a place for us. (That’s what happens when you quit college and get married.) My daughter is still in daycare, but I already stress about what I will do when she’s in school. I don’t want her to have to spend her summers in childcare.

    Reply

  7. pisceshanna
    Jul 22, 2008 @ 13:08:37

    I guess the question is will the stress about less money, and bigger hurdles outweigh the happiness of a better schedule and doing something that actually love? For my mom, she would never pick a job she loved over something that made more money. Financial secuirty is too important to her, and I respect that, but it makes me sad at the same time. She also pays all the bills, while my dad’s job is supplementary income.

    Reply

  8. Shannon
    Jul 23, 2008 @ 09:37:21

    Wow. You guys are the best. I seriously can’t believe how hard it is to decide and then the single mamas jump in and help. I choose my baby. I’ve only got nine years before she goes to college now and I want to spend those with her. When she’s out of school I will be too. And I need to learn that I can count on the new husband. I just have to stop having a back up plan. I’ve always been ok in the past…I’m sure I could pull out all the stops again if I had to right? We figured up the money stuff last night PH, and due to the gas money and the daycare and being in a lower tax bracket, I’ll really only be bringing home about $67 dollars less a month. It’s bizarre. It really looked like so much better of a salary. I’ll have to blog later about my issues with getting certified-that’s causing drama now…apparently NY state changed their requirements-but I could still take the job and worry about that later. 😉
    SWM-Can you do a mini-bakery business on the side? Like out of your house? Just make emails and stuff and do small scale to see if it works? I think it would. And internet is a wonderful marketing tool too! Follow your passion.
    Liz, LMM and Jenn3- I KNEW you guys would think I should choose the job, it’s just the kinda mommies you are! Smart women rock. How lucky your children all are. ALL of you…we blog about this love for them because it’s just SOOO big.

    Reply

  9. Trackback: Cramming for school. « Former Single Mommy

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