BsDaddy is present in her life. Physically. Financially. Not really emotionally and certainly not spiritually. The first two being the least important of the four in my eyes. But not necessarily in hers. Not yet anyway. I make sure she knows that although he isn’t buying her material items as often as Mommy does, he is giving money to Mommy which allows me that extra spending ability. And for her to be in expensive sports and activities. She knows we both contribute financially to her lifestyle. And she’s grateful. Yes, even at nine. That’s just how my girl rolls.
So, although he isn’t what I want him to be in her life-he’s there. It seems to be enough for her-for now. And I’m not going to rock that boat.
Although he could have been a bit more excited about her choice yesterday to do this to her hair:
And, as I keep reiterating to NewHusband, we can’t control what goes on in the other parent’s household. Just like we wouldn’t love if they tried telling US what to do. (But that’s hard advice to swallow when B tells me she tried to call me Friday night because she couldn’t sleep and she was alone downstairs at Daddy’s house and she worked herself into such a frenzy she had to go be sick in the bathroom. And I didn’t get the call because I was on the lake where service is in and out, and she didn’t leave a message. Although now, she knows to next time-TEXT your momma silly girly!).
This is much easier now that she’s nine and understands things better, than it was when she was three. I used to cry my eyes out when she left for her Daddy’s.
This post reminds me of that quote: “Just because someone doesn’t love you like you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have”. So maybe, he’s loving her the best he can.