Ouch!

Well here we go.  My first injury in ages.  I mean ages.  I’m almost ashamed to mention it beause I’ve been so injury-free through my last couple half marathons and racing seasons…I just don’t know, why now?

Last night I iced them (did the whole RICE) thing, but I can still feel them throbbing and can barely walk.  This happened once last summer too, but you all know how hard it is to take time off from running when you are in training!  Ugh.  Any input?  I know I shouldn’t have trudged through my 35 minute tempo run last night but I can be a fiesty little brat sometimes.  I also think I dropped a nasty word when I had to stop for a sec and make sure I could still stand when I stopped moving.  For some reason the faster I ran, the pain seemed to lessen (maybe just numb).  A little old man in his flower bed, doing some gardening sure got a suprise.  I better take a different route for awhile.

On vacation this week with my precious daughter.  We day tripped to Montreal and got some school shopping done, practiced diving, got her hair cut and spent loads of quality time together, biking and chatting and re-organizing her closet (her choice, she loves that stuff).  And she got a new Shrek Opi nailpolish.  Another variant of blue!  I love staycations.  Today is our loungy, rest day.  Stepson is at his mom’s for two weeks and then he’ll be back with us.   Our kids start school a couple days after Labor Day so it’s not all that far off now.  Are you done your school shopping?  My daughter isn’t so about it this year.  She got a few things, but she wanted enough to start out and then buy more throughout the fall.  Much different than kindergarten when she started with over 35 outfits.  Oh those little Gymboree outfits with matching shoes and hair accessories.  Those were the days.  Cardigan, tights, skirt, sweater and headband…all matchy-matchy.

Happy 11th Birthday Sweet Girl.

This weekend we celebrated the 11th birthday of my baby girl with a fabulous trip to NYC.  We stayed on the 40th floor of a hotel right in the middle of Times Square and took in an 8pm showing of Wicked on Saturday.  If you haven’t seen it yet, you must.  Such a dynamic and jaw-dropping performance-worth every penny.  B and I spent the 5 hour commute home singing the soundtrack!

It made me even more aware how absolutely in sync we are.  We slept in the same bed and spent not a moment apart for 3 days and I left that weekend just wanting more.  What a joy that child is.  So grateful and gracious.  That being said, how she’s grown!  We spent the weekend traipsing the city to find the make up stores she longed to visit.  Now keep in mind, I don’t let her wear it really, outside of the house, but she’s got some sort of collection going on and it’s harmless.    She fell in love with Sephora and a little less in love with M.A.C.  .

She is still my entire world.  Nothing has changed that.  I still sneak into her room each night and breathe her air. She is deliciously young and an old soul at the very same time.  She is brave and kind, beautiful and giddy, a pacifist and a determined dreamer.  She is all of the best of me and none of the worst.  She is the culmination of a love between a daydreaming musician and a literary, intensely passionate realist.  How lucky are we to have been chosen as her parents?

I am brought to tears as I think of her growing up and away from me and pray ferociously that this never happens.  I know there will be trying times, but my heart longs to keep her 11.  Where she is forever mine and doesn’t give her heart away to someone that I know just isn’t worthy of such a luminous treasure.  Yet, I’m happy that her dreams are big, enormous even, and that the world is open to her every desire and possibility.  She has only to want something enough to make it her reality. And I will be here…always.  For the days when she still needs to climb in bed and feel her mothers arms wrap around her in a forever, eternally soothing embrace.  I love you, little girl.

11 is the new 15.

My daughter is going to be 11 this month.  However she both looks and acts 15.  I blame much of this on the YouTube videos she is obsessed with.  See for yourself at  JuicyStar07 .  Now these aren’t harmful by any stretch.  They just involve make-up and a young fashionista.  My daughter is not allowed to wear make-up out in public.  It’s just something she is playing with and having fun doing in her spare time.  But she spends a tremendous amount of time organizing her lovely new vanity and jewelry box.  I will have to take photos of this and add them in later (since I am at work).

She is particulary obsessed with M.A.C. cosmetics.  Something she will get to indulge a bit on our trip to NYC for her birthday.  It is fun and I can understand the “collecting” aspect of this newfound fascination.  And I will admit, I love that she’s so about organizing her room…so thank you to Blair Fowler (Miss JuicyStar07 herself) for that.

But I must admit, it makes me really happy when her friend comes over and they play with their dolls.  After all, those American Girl dolls need some love too.  And I need to see my baby acting like…well, like a little girl.  At least once in awhile.

Proud mama moment.

Graduation day was bittersweet-as they always are.

However there was a lovely surprise.  After a not-optimal year and a teacher that was the worst she’s had yet…my girl got the Presidential Award for Academic Excellence!  For those who don’t know (which I didn’t until after), it’s based on overall grades being 90-100, teacher recommendations and above 85th percentile on our state exams.  More on how ridiculous those state exams are later.  What a proud moment for her!  Her dad’s parents were there and my mom and me.  Lots of pictures and a lovely, happy, confident girl.  And now, we’re off to middle school.  And I profess this adamantly, that little girl you see up there in that adorable dress?  Yes, the one that people mistake for a 14 year old?  She’s 10.  And she’s my baby.  Still.  Always.  Ask her.  She’ll tell you.

Name change?

I’m going to start regular posting again, as I’ve had some people mention that they are having a hard time finding a blog that deals with blended families.  My question for all of you is…should I change the blog title from “Former Single Mommy”?  If so, any suggestions?  Catchy of course, is always good.

I think we’ve done a good job with our “blending”, now that we are three years into it, I feel like I can discuss it much better and with more detail.  I do have to say that the road isn’t easy or for the meek.  It’s been a very interesting transition, one that I am excited to share with all of you.  And hopefully, it will help those of you who are just entering this new life, to feel less alone and to have a place to vent.

For my single mom friends…I still want to remain part of your chats as well, since that part of my life is very dear to me.  And as those with blended families will assure you, once a single mom, always a single mom.  🙂  I definitely have my own parenting thing going on, in addition to the blended situation.

For those unfamiliar with my dynamic, I married a man who has full-custody of his eight year old son.  The son does go to his mother’s quite often.  Every other weekend and more frequently on school vacations.  More on how this came to be, later.

Roll call…anyone else out there?

Find me at my new home!

Hi girls (and a few guys)!

I’m starting a new blog and want you guys to follow along-it will be a totally different vibe as it’s all about technology and fun gadgetry.  Since you got to know me while I talked about my most enduring and biggest love, my daughter-I’m hoping to stay in touch with you while I talk about my love of all things electronic.  I won’t shut this blog down, as I’d like to come back and update when I have time-but I have one simple request.  Please don’t mention THIS blog on the other one…of course that is always fine in a private message to me.  However, I’m planning on being very public with my Adk*Gadget*Girl blog and I’d rather that all the people who know me IRL don’t come back to this blog.  It’s not that there is anything secret-but it is from a part of my life that is very special to me, and that other people (especially people who haven’t been in the single parent trenches), probably won’t understand.  I think of all of you often-you made some lonely and some challenging times during my single parenthood so much less lonely.  I felt we were a team and bonded indefinitely and I still do.  Those of you whom I chatted with more frequently via this blog, well I’d love to find you on FaceBook too, so please message me.

Please come on over to    *adk*gadget*girl.wordpress.com  and leave feedback, questions and tips.  I plan on posting several times a week, and eventually hope on daily posting.  (Just leave out the asteriks in the blog title…that was just to derail Google-or at least try to).   I can’t wait to talk to all of you again.  *Adk*Gadget*Girl is soon to be a website all it’s own, which will link back to the blog as well.  I’ve missed all of you.  I hope your babies are all well and that you are all blessed and healthy.  And I’ve noticed several of you aren’t “single” parents anymore-congrats to you!  I hope that the love is huge.  But guess what…once a single mama…always a single mama.  🙂  It’s a mentality and a way of life.  See you soon. ❤

To the one who made it all possible…

Happy Mother’s Day Mom.

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I’ve spent my entire 35 years trying to please my very intense, Marine father.  However, I have not once felt the need to “try” to make my mother proud.  She just always is proud of me and has always made me feel very secure in her love.

I call her every day, with no particular topic or question at hand-just because I enjoy hearing her voice.  We are very different people.  My daughter is much more like her than I was, am, or ever can aspire to be.  They are both people-pleasers, always concerned about others, always trying to make people happy.  They have a genuine empathy that is instilled in their hearts and could not be faked.  They can both be very affected by things people say or do, albeit unintentional or just an offhand comment.  I am much more nonchalant and things roll off my back much more quickly and I am definitely not all sweetness and goodness as those two are.

My mother has set the bar so high for parenting it is almost impossible to attain.  She worked full time my entire childhood, cooked meals every single day, packed lunches, did all the laundry, sewed, quilted, gardened, painted and built…she is more Martha Stewart than Martha Stewart.  To this day, I ask her to hem pants or fix a pillow or any other chore that to her is routine, but to me a major undertaking.  Just recently, she revamped a too-large tablecloth into the right size, making the excess material into matching napkins and pillows for my sun porch.  Over the past 15 years she has taken care of her two elderly parents, her aging mother-in-law and helped all of them to die with dignity.  She has watched her children have children and has become the role model my daughter so desperately emulates.  She is the “fun” Nana who takes B hiking and playing outside and yes, shopping too!  She is a fitness fanatic and has instilled that love of the outdoors and exercise in both me and my daughter.

We are so different I sometimes have trouble understanding her reasons and her upsets.  When she is stressed out, I have a hard time being compassionate, as that’s not something I “get”.  I often say that I won’t allow stress in my life…I feel it is a choice and drama that I don’t have time to allow in.  She doesn’t understand the bittersweet feelings of remarriage and divorce and single parenting.  She’s been with the same man since she was 19.  (She conceived ME on her wedding night)!

Yet, sometimes, she still surprises me with a bout of open-mindedness.  Recently I told her the Twilight books were incredibly good and since I don’t usually love fiction and especially not popular fiction, she listened.  She’s now on the third book and surprisingly completely addicted!  My daughter and I adore movie nights at her house, where we snuggle up and eat junk food.

She is passionate and strong and hopelessly in love with my father.  She’s curious and loyal and always there.  Getting angry with her can upset me like nothing else can.  She’s ridiculously wrapped around my 9 year-olds finger and it both makes me envious and warm inside, all at the same time.  I can’t begin to imagine a day when she is not there.  I’m not sure I would be able to go on, without her in this world.  It gives me hope that my daughter too, might feel I am necessary, needed…long after she actually needs my physical presence every day.

Thank you Mom…I love you.  You have done the most exceptional job of mothering I have ever seen.  Thank you for giving me everything and then some.  For traveling to stores far away so I could have those Guess jeans back in 10th grade.  For allowing me all the sports and clubs and activites that kept you running for all my teenage years.  For hunting down a Cabbage Patch kid when I was crying each night because I wanted one so badly. For making every Christmas, Easter and even St. Patrick’s Day magical.  For gifting me with the most idyllic childhood imaginable.  For lying in bed with me, spooning behind me and holding me as I cried myself to sleep, the night my first husband left our home and I drove to your house, 7 months pregnant.  For supporting me as I stubbornly held onto my home for three years after leaving my husband.  For helping me when I bought a house in a more convenient location.  For being so happy when I remarried and built a new family.  For….just being.  I love you more than you can ever know.  And I appreciate it.  Every last thing…every day of the last 35 years, and 4 months.  There is no other you.  How lucky am I?

Happy 35th Mother’s Day Mom.

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