Talkin’ bout a revolution.

So as a single mama, I had tremendous independence.  It was probably the reason that my relationship with my now-husband, did not work out in the first place.  He is a nurturer, by nature.  He is most comfortable taking care of everyone.  And I, my friends, was completely and adamantly opposed to being taken care of.  Certainly, that was partially a result of the end of my first marriage and the subsequent inability to trust relationships, but I’m definitely very self-sufficient by birth.  A bit defiant and horribly stubborn as well.  Dangerous mix.  

When I (and my lovely daughter, because she was involved in the decision), decided to marry and move in with my husband and his son, I knew that I had to relax and live in the present, as my Buddhist studies have taught me.  I knew I was going to have to let go of old baggage and roll with the new and changing familial structure.  One that was unfamiliar for sure and a bit uncomfortable even, at first, but one that I went into totally willingly.  Both for the sake of love and for the wonderful family life it would provide for my daughter.  (Back to my oldest posts, she and I have a very close relationship and without a doubt, every major decision I have made since her birth, has been with her first and foremost in my mind).  So we moved in, got married and everyone began learning how to live together (more on that in future posts).

My real surrender in independence became when I gave up the research job I had for about 12 years, to take a teaching job closer to our home.  It allowed me more family time and I could get my daughter from school every day and bring her back to my classroom.  Wonderful!  I did that job for a year and then, missing my old workplace with the two hour daily commute-I headed back there.  But that year was with a much less-paying job and I had to learn to let my husband take over some financial responsibilities.  It was trying, but I went forth with it and we were all fine.  Really.  Fine.  

Back at the research job for two years, the lab underwent major restructuring and was going to be moving across the country.  Left with little alternative (we own a successful business, so we weren’t going to move), I took a part-time teaching job at a local college and worked as an independent consultant for some local businesses, doing computer/web design work.  I also decided to take a couple classes and start work on a different Masters degree-in the Natural Sciences/Chemistry.  So it’s been busy for sure!  But definitely much different than having a 40 hour a week job with a 2 hour daily commute.  After nearly 8 months, I’m still hesitant to say I LOVE this new schedule.  And giving up my financial freedom has been interesting to say the least.  Although I still have several sources of income, it’s much different than having the paycheck every two weeks, of the same amount, deposited into my account.  I’m also uncertain if this is where I’m really supposed to be.  Career-wise.  However, my daughter turns 13 this summer-and I’m definitely noticing that she needs me nearby in different ways…and probably more than she did as a toddler.  I also feel the need to do a million things on the day I am home, just so when anyone asks what I did, there is a whopping big list.  Self-inflicted, sure.  Anyone else have this?  But as far as being able to deal with my husband bearing more of our financial end of things, that has proven to work out fine.  I take care of lots of things that are difficult for him to handle.  I take the kids to appointments, make arrangements for our store when he doesn’t have time and I handle all of the stuff that goes along with home-ownership (including cooking/cleaning).  

End result:  The kids love me being around more.  Fresh baked everything, all homemade, healthy meals.  I was semi like that before, but there were nights each week that were rushed and had more “quickie meals”.  My husband loves it this way, it is a great compromise that gets everyone’s work done.  We make a very effective team.  My vote is still undecided.  I feel more pressure this way, to get everything done because everyone thinks you have so much free time.  When in reality, there isn’t much free time at all.  I often joke about starting a revolution where women accept that taking care of their kids and their home and doing a great job at these tasks, is the most important job and needs to be respected as such.  I feel total empathy for stay at home moms who don’t get the credit they so deserve.   How about it?  A revolution?Image

Scrumptious coconut Easter cake!

Branching out the blog.

So it’s been awhile, right?  But I’ve been pondering what to do with this blog.  Although I still strongly identify with the single mamas, I have been successfully part of a blended family for about five years now.  I am a full-time stepmother of my stepson, as my husband has full physical custody and of course have full-custody of my girl.  Over the past five years, I have listened to others tell me how I need to write a book about blended families.  They have come to me with their problems and challenges and asked for advice.  Don’t get me wrong, it hasn’t been easy for me, but I think we’ve got a good handle on this whole dynamic and it’s taken a lot of research and compromising.  🙂  

So, are any of you interested in a blended family blog with tips, hints, stories and guest bloggers? Please comment and give me some of your super helpful feedback!  

Freelance and friendships…

…are two things I miss about my writing life.  So, I’m back to blogging and I now have free time and mobile apps that will make this process happen on a more weekly basis.  How are all of you?  I miss your comments, your insights and your blogs.  So I’m off to review them and catch up.

Update, as for my freelancing, I’m now writing on Examiner.com…check my articles about parenting out here.

Hope to hear from all of you soon.

Chanel nail polish.

Found a great blog posting on my new favorite Chanel nailpolish.  I’m a Chanel junkie anyway, but this one is so delightful and her pictures are great.  It really looks different depending on lighting, clothing, etc, but it’s lovely all around.

Enjoy.

Training time again.

I always forget how hard it is to get used to being in training again for a half-marathon. Although I love the schedule and predictability (it really gets you out the door, because you certainly don’t want to be regretting not training enough when you get to the day before the race), I also forget how tired my body is at first.
And I actually keep a base level of at least 6 miles all year long and during non-training I run about 4-5 days a week, mixed in with all my other biking, rollerblading, swimming, etc.
Last night I woke up with sore feet. I knew it would happen when I came back from my long run for the week…my 2nd toe on my left foot has been harboring a blister and as I ran, I felt it starting to become bothersome. I’m gonna have to tape that baby down this week.
However, YAY, my track workout is tomorrow. And those, I really do love. While they are happening I’m sweaty and exhausted, but that exhaustion is so rejuvenating. A whole separate entity from the exhaustion of a long run.
While on the lake all weekend on our boat, I read the new Tana French book (Faithful Place) on my iPad. I also found some pain in the a$$ things about the iPad. It overheats when it is too warm and it’s impossible to read in bright sunlight or on the deck of the boat. Nevertheless the book was good. And I normally like classics or non-ficiton so this is high praise indeed. (Kid free weekends usually mean I’m on the lake-missing my girl but enjoying the husband).
Anyone else in training right now? By the way, the lovely M and M ice cream cookie sandwich I had while watching True Blood was a lovely treat post-run.

Find me at my new home!

Hi girls (and a few guys)!

I’m starting a new blog and want you guys to follow along-it will be a totally different vibe as it’s all about technology and fun gadgetry.  Since you got to know me while I talked about my most enduring and biggest love, my daughter-I’m hoping to stay in touch with you while I talk about my love of all things electronic.  I won’t shut this blog down, as I’d like to come back and update when I have time-but I have one simple request.  Please don’t mention THIS blog on the other one…of course that is always fine in a private message to me.  However, I’m planning on being very public with my Adk*Gadget*Girl blog and I’d rather that all the people who know me IRL don’t come back to this blog.  It’s not that there is anything secret-but it is from a part of my life that is very special to me, and that other people (especially people who haven’t been in the single parent trenches), probably won’t understand.  I think of all of you often-you made some lonely and some challenging times during my single parenthood so much less lonely.  I felt we were a team and bonded indefinitely and I still do.  Those of you whom I chatted with more frequently via this blog, well I’d love to find you on FaceBook too, so please message me.

Please come on over to    *adk*gadget*girl.wordpress.com  and leave feedback, questions and tips.  I plan on posting several times a week, and eventually hope on daily posting.  (Just leave out the asteriks in the blog title…that was just to derail Google-or at least try to).   I can’t wait to talk to all of you again.  *Adk*Gadget*Girl is soon to be a website all it’s own, which will link back to the blog as well.  I’ve missed all of you.  I hope your babies are all well and that you are all blessed and healthy.  And I’ve noticed several of you aren’t “single” parents anymore-congrats to you!  I hope that the love is huge.  But guess what…once a single mama…always a single mama.  🙂  It’s a mentality and a way of life.  See you soon. ❤

I’m here!

Hey everyone!  Now you’d think that since I had gone back to my old job I’d actually have been posting more like I used to…but it’s been so busy in the new lab and starting new projects…and learning all about parasites instead of viruses, that I’m swamped as ever!

But I’m going to start catching you all up slowly.  Last month I ran my first half marathon and scheduled my second!  What an experience!!!  I’ve always been a runner, but am now committing myself to competing more.

B is now TEN!  She’s still amazing, still the love of my life and I still am grateful every single day when I wake up and see that face.

I’m going to post more regularly, but I’ve thought often of you all and can’t wait to catch up again!  I hope all your babies are happy and healthy!!!  And you too!

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